#8: Who's the Man With the Master Cookbook? Isaac Hayes!

Cooking Prep:  Isaac Hayes is one of the pioneers of 60s and 70s southern soul music.  I knew him as Chef from South Park a little bit before I actually got to know his earlier, non-comical work.  Although let's be honest, how can you take the lyrics to Shaft non-comically:

Shaft
Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Shaft!
You're damn right
Who is the man
That would risk his neck for his brother man?
Shaft!
Can ya dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
Shaft!
Right on
You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother
Shut your mouth
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
Then we can dig it
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
John Shaft

Lyrics aside, Isaac Hayes struck gold with this funky soundtrack, and won the Academy Award for Best Song in 1972.  The movie itself cost $500,000 to make, but grossed over 13M at the box office.  I imagine having such a catchy soundtrack propelled it to an unexpected level of success.  This success of this movie helped promulgate the Blaxploitation movement in cinema.

After Shaft, Issac's career was pretty non-descript through the 70s and 80s.  He released a few mediocre albums and declared bankruptcy.  This could probably be the same story written my a million other artists.  Of interest to me, however, was his co-ownership of the American Basketball Association's Memphis Tams in 1974.  What is a Tam, you ask?  A TAM is an acronym for Tennessee, Arkansas, and Mississippi.  More important, the mascot of the Tams was a hat.  Yes, a hat.  

As soon as the ownership group purchased the Tams, one of their first orders of business was to change the name.  Apparently a Scottish hat wasn't representative of the target demographic in Memphis? so They quickly agreed to change their team name to the Memphis Sound.  Unfortunately the hat damage had already been done, and the combination of subpar team performance and poor fan attendance forced Hayes to sell his shares of the team.  The team was eventually re-sold to a Baltimore group in 1975, who (briefly) named the team the Baltimore Hustlers before settling on the Baltimore Claws. Smart move - because you shouldn't need to field awkward mascot questions from your kids when attending a game...and  because I can get behind a logo of a crab hugging a basketball.

Speaking of hustlers, most people know Hayes as the voice of Chef from South Park - one of the funniest and most bizarre cartoon characters of all time.  With his sultry voice and provocative lyrics, no one could make an elementary school cafeteria sexy - or the subject of a crime scene investigation - like he could.  Whether he's passing along a recipe, or using the power of song to help Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman navigate the trials and tribulations of adolescence, you almost need a cold shower after.  Isaac Hayes portrayal of Chef even earned him a nomination for the NAACP's Image Award for Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series. Somehow. 

South Park's Trapped in the Closet episode, which lampooned Scientology, spelled the end for Chef, and for Isaac Hayes.  Apparently Hayes was cool with Matt Stone and Trey Parker making fun of every other religion (and political belief, ethnic group, nationality, etc) but he drew the line when it came to his own 'religion'.  Hayes requested a release from his contract on South Park, which was granted by Stone and Parker.  Hopefully this freed up his schedule to do strange and reclusive Scientology stuff.

Nowadays Isaac Hayes is dead - from a stroke while using a treadmill. But his legacy as Chef, and his  cookbook, live on!

Cookbook:

The majority of this book is southern recipes that were passed on to Isaac from his family.  Sprinkled among them are a few recipes submitted to him by his friends.  The book does a much better job of describing itself than I can:  'Cooking with Heart & Soul is pure Isaac Hayes - one part hot-buttered soul, one part chocolate salty balls, and a big helping of comfort.' Please note that not a single recipe calls for heart and/or soul.  What a ripoff.  

There were many recipes that I was interested in using, but a many of them required deep frying. After all the sugar and butter I've eaten over the past month, I just don't think my body can currently handle anything submerged in oil. 

If you like southern cuisine (BBQ, 'southern sides', and cajun spices, etc),  this would be a great book to own.  

Cooking Soundtrack: The Very Best of Isaac Hayes

Theme For the Evening: Every 'chocolate salty balls' double entendre you can think of.

Cooking Companion: Dessert assistance with Whitney Wotkyns!

Recipes:

1.  Candied 'Ooooh Baby' Carrots

2 cups baby carrots, rinsed

1/3 cup maple syrup

2 tbsps butter

2 tbsps water

1/4 tsp cinnamon 

1/4 teaspoon grated nutmeg

In a large saucepan, cover the carrots with water.  Cover pan and heat to boiling.  Simmer the carrots until fork-tender, about 10 minutes.  Drain.

Combine the carrots, maple syrup, butter, water, cinnamon, and nutmeg in the same pan and cook over medium heat, stirring until the liquid is syrupy and the carrots are well roasted.

Thoughts:  I think I might have a butter and sugar addiction.  Honestly, I was just looking for a simple side, and I ended up turning baby carrots into death vegetables.  Delicious death vegetables.  Given the ingredients, this dish is best saved for a holiday - or your funeral if you eat more than two of them.

Sorry, I'm a photo jerk. I forgot to take pictures of the carrots as the were swimming in syrup.  

2. Steve Harvey's Stuffed Rolled Chicken Breast Over Sweet Potato Risotto 

4 boneless chicken breast halves

3 asparagus stalks, thinly sliced

1 carrot, cut into think strips

1 onion, thinly sliced

1 stick butter

1 12-oz risotto box

salt to taste

about 1/2 cup chicken broth

1 sweet potato, peeled, boiled, and mashed

4 white mushrooms, finely-chopped

1/2 cup heavy cream

Toothpicks

Place the chicken breasts between 2 sheets of plastic wrap and pound with a kitchen mallot until thin.  Arrange the asparagus, carrot, and a few onion slices over the middle of each and roll up the chicken to enclose the vegetables.  Secure with toothpicks and set aside

In a large ovenproof skillet, melt half the butter over medium-high heat and saute the remaining onions until caramelized, about 10 minutes.  Add the risotto and salt and cook, stirring for 2 minutes.  When the risotto is golden, stir in 1/2 cup chicken broth. Reduce the heat to low and add the mashed sweet potato. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until the risotto is tender, about 45 minutes.

While the risotto cooks, in another skillet, over medium heat, melt the remaining half of the butter.  Add the chicken rolls.  Cook, turning the rolls, until they are lightly browned on all sides and cooked through, about 10 minutes.

Preheat oven to 275 degrees.  When the risotto mixture is done, place chicken rolls on top of the risotto and bake for 5 to 10 minutes.

While the chicken bakes, add the mushrooms to the drippings of the skillet used to brown the chicken and saute over medium-high heat until browned.  Add the heavy cream and heat to boiling, stirring to loosen any browned bits from bottom of pan.  Season the mushroom sauce with salt and serve with the chicken and risotto.  

Thoughts:  Tony Wilbur got to put on his big boy cooking pants and make risotto.  I had a few substitutions in this one.  The part of 'kitchen mallet' was played by 'hammer I found in the closet'.  'Toothpicks' were repaced with 'wooden restaurant matches with their heads broken off'.  I couldn't find the required box of risotto anywhere at my local Stop & Shop, so I had to Google the type of rice commonly used in risotto (arborio) and hope that's what Steve Harvey used.  This may have affected the outcome of the meal.

I think the recipe was a little messed up, because it didn't call for nearly enough liquid to keep it simmering for 45 minutes.  I need to add 3 or 4 cups of water too keep my kitchen from catching on fire.  The end result was pretty tasty, even it was completely different than what it was supposed to taste like. Mixing the risotto with the sweet potato was perfection.  It really added a nice sweetness to the savory. I was also really impressed with the presentation of the chicken after wrapping it up!  The winning part of this recipe was the mushroom, chicken and whipping cream combination.  Poured over the risotto and chicken, it was creamy and delicious.  It tasted like something that I imagine they serve in fancy restaurants that I can't afford.  I would recommend the adding the sauce to any savory chicken or rice dish.  Or just pour it into your mouth.

3.  Homemade Chocolate Salty Balls

1 cup graham cracker crumbs

1/4 cup corn syrup

1 cup milk chocolate chips

1/8 tsp salt

3 tbsps confectioner's sugar

In a medium bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs and corn syrup and mix well.  Using a spoon or a melon baller, shape the mixture into balls.

In the top of a double boiler, slowly melt the chocolate chips.  Dip the balls in the chocolate and set the dipped balls on wax paper to set.

On a plate, mix together the salt and sugar.  When the chocolate balls are set, roll in the salt and sugar and mixture to lightly coat.

Enjoy.

Whitney, with my balls, underneath the
'2014 Cats in Hats' calendar

Thoughts: I had to.  This is Chef, after all, and I wanted to try his famous balls! This recipe required MORE substitutions.  I couldn't find the corn syrup at Stop & Shop (do they still make it, or has the Surgeon General banned it?), so I used maple syrup.  Pretty minor change, and it seemed to work just as well.  The mixture didn't easily form into balls as advertised, and they required a
bit more fondling and pressure to make hard.  Also, melting the chocolate chips down didn't work; the chocolate was too thick for the appropriate 'dipping' consistency, and so we had to lather the soft chocolate directly onto the balls with knives and spoons.  The last step was rolling the balls in the salt/sugar concoction - this combo is amazing.  You'll have a difficult time not filling your mouth with balls after you try just one.  

If you decide you want to play with these chocolate salty balls a little bit and come up with different ingredient combinations, I think crushed Oreo might work better than graham cracker.  If you can find a chocolate that melts better, you could probably add coconut or heath bar to the sugar/salt rolling process and make it stick.

Verdict: Steve Harvey is boring, but his risotto chicken is very good.  At least the version I made was. The candied carrots were a bit of an overkill with the meal, so avoid with this combo.  Save it for Thanksgiving.  And finally, do yourself a favor and make some chocolate salty balls!  If you have more balls than you can handle at home, show them off at the office!  If your co-workers are anything like mine, they'll be all over your balls as soon as they see them hanging out in the common area.

I managed to save the risotto from Hurricane Katrina,
but my apartment was a total loss

Grades:

Cookbook Variety: B- (good niche cookbook, but don't forget that even a treadmill couldn't save Isaac Hayes from the deep frying.  Use recipes sparingly.)
Cost: A- (manageable - I didn't spend nearly as much on my balls as I thought I would)
Ease & Time of Preparation: B- (confusing directions, a LONG time to simmer risotto)
Taste: A- = (very satisfied with how this turned out.  I couldn't stop putting balls in my mouth)

Bonus Grade:  

Balls references: A++

Overall Grade: B+