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Monday, April 28, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Whole 30: The Results Episode
My Whole 30 was completed this past Tuesday, and here is my report:
1. In 30 days, I managed to lose 10.6 lbs. I haven't weighed this little in almost 8 years, and I've discovered belt notches that I never knew existed. It's amazing what a gluten-free, dairy-free, legume-free, sugar-free and preservative-free diet can do.
2. While my weight may have gone down, my food spending spiraled up - thanks mostly to Whole Foods shopping, and purchasing top-quality organic, grassfed, hormone-free meats. I can remember one meat run in particular where I walked a mile out of my way on a 12 degree Friday evening after work because I had heard a rumor that all-natural, sugar free bacon was being sold at the Savenor's near the Charles MGH MBTA station. The butcher there had no idea what I was talking about, and then I felt pressured to by $27 worth of fancy prosciutto.
Because I anally track my spending down to the cent, I can confirm that my grocery shopping (including cat and household supplies) spending plus my dining out (lunches, dinners, coffee, drinks, etc) spending totaled $695.29 over the Whole 30 span. In 2013, when I was a bit loosey goosey with my spending, my monthly average over the year for grocery shopping plus dining out was $582.39. In January 2014, when I made a conscious effort to manage my budget and coupon the shit out of everything, my grocery shopping plus dining out was $458.56. So you can see, any way you slice it, Whole 30 was not cheap. That being said, knowing what I know now, I could have been much more efficient with this. I'll explain in post #10.
3. It's hard to say whether or not I'm more healthy now, because I didn't have any preexisting chronic conditions to use as a benchmark before. I feel like I have more energy, but that's hard to quantify. I am certainly happier, but that's most likely because my pants fit better. I probably should have gone to the doctor to get before and after bloodwork done to make this more scientificky, but whatever.
4. My social life really suffered. ALL socializing involves food and drink. I made a point of being very strict with this diet, and as a result made sure to not put myself in situations where I might drink alcohol or be tempted to eat something that wasn't approved. As a result, I lived like the Unibomber for 30 days and had very little fun whatsoever. This diet would be impossible during the summer months. And seriously, I'm already a pretty antisocial person.
5. The food I ate was actually quite good. It was restrictive, but I really enjoyed what I was eating. I got really tired of eating sweet potatoes, chicken and eggs toward the end, but I think it was the restriction that made me resent the food, rather than the food itself. If I was allowed to eat anything I wanted and instead chose sweet potatoes and eggs, I would probably be fine with that.
I really learned to scrutinize labels and understand what ingredients are added to food. I also have a much greater appreciation for the companies that make an effort to provide consumers with all-natural and preservative-free foods. There are fewer of them than you think. While eating healthy can be tricky in many cases, I also learned that there are some go-to products that make it much easier. For example, if hot sauce is your thing, you can spend your money on Huy Fong Sriracha sauce, which has about 10 ingredients that you've never heard of...OR, for the same price, you can grab a bottle of Frank's Red Hot, which has 4 or 5 all natural ingredients and no added sugar. I've already raved about how great Larabars are over every other 'granola' bar out there. Go get some!
I also learned that I don't really miss dairy or grains. Well, I miss bagels a little. And ice cream. And cheese. I could easily remove these elements from my every day diet and not cry over it. And after 30 days without sugar or cream in my coffee, I really prefer my coffee black now. Good coffee is even better black, although shitty coffee is very apparent without anything to mask it.
Conclusion: I really have no idea if the cleansing part of Whole 30 works - the conventional wisdom of only putting natural, unprocessed ingredients in my body really appeals to me, and I can get on board for the alleged health benefits behind no dairy, gluten or legumes. I am weary of experts purporting that their own way is better than anyone else's - be it in the realm of nutrition or anything else. For all I know, this could all be snake oil, as there are dozens of diets that all have experts advocating different things with the same level of aggressive certainty. Refined sugar and artificial additives have never been good for anybody, and so these were obvious things to remove from my diet. For 30 days, this was certainly worth trying for me, and I have 10.6 reasons why. I REALLY liked the structure, which is something my eating habits lacked. When day 31 came around, I was actually a bit reluctant to eat anything that wasn't Whole 30-approved. And I had no craving to eat sugar.
My plan is to keep this up, but not in the same strict manner. I like beer, scotch and the occasional Kit Kat too much. I want to stick as closely as I can to this diet by only buying Whole 30 ingredients and by making Paleo lunches and dinners, but I also want to make allowances for nights out with coworkers and friends. I think the key for me is to find the healthy and happy balance between the nutritional benefits from this diet and maintaining a normal social life.
Because I anally track my spending down to the cent, I can confirm that my grocery shopping (including cat and household supplies) spending plus my dining out (lunches, dinners, coffee, drinks, etc) spending totaled $695.29 over the Whole 30 span. In 2013, when I was a bit loosey goosey with my spending, my monthly average over the year for grocery shopping plus dining out was $582.39. In January 2014, when I made a conscious effort to manage my budget and coupon the shit out of everything, my grocery shopping plus dining out was $458.56. So you can see, any way you slice it, Whole 30 was not cheap. That being said, knowing what I know now, I could have been much more efficient with this. I'll explain in post #10.
3. It's hard to say whether or not I'm more healthy now, because I didn't have any preexisting chronic conditions to use as a benchmark before. I feel like I have more energy, but that's hard to quantify. I am certainly happier, but that's most likely because my pants fit better. I probably should have gone to the doctor to get before and after bloodwork done to make this more scientificky, but whatever.
4. My social life really suffered. ALL socializing involves food and drink. I made a point of being very strict with this diet, and as a result made sure to not put myself in situations where I might drink alcohol or be tempted to eat something that wasn't approved. As a result, I lived like the Unibomber for 30 days and had very little fun whatsoever. This diet would be impossible during the summer months. And seriously, I'm already a pretty antisocial person.
5. The food I ate was actually quite good. It was restrictive, but I really enjoyed what I was eating. I got really tired of eating sweet potatoes, chicken and eggs toward the end, but I think it was the restriction that made me resent the food, rather than the food itself. If I was allowed to eat anything I wanted and instead chose sweet potatoes and eggs, I would probably be fine with that.
I really learned to scrutinize labels and understand what ingredients are added to food. I also have a much greater appreciation for the companies that make an effort to provide consumers with all-natural and preservative-free foods. There are fewer of them than you think. While eating healthy can be tricky in many cases, I also learned that there are some go-to products that make it much easier. For example, if hot sauce is your thing, you can spend your money on Huy Fong Sriracha sauce, which has about 10 ingredients that you've never heard of...OR, for the same price, you can grab a bottle of Frank's Red Hot, which has 4 or 5 all natural ingredients and no added sugar. I've already raved about how great Larabars are over every other 'granola' bar out there. Go get some!
I also learned that I don't really miss dairy or grains. Well, I miss bagels a little. And ice cream. And cheese. I could easily remove these elements from my every day diet and not cry over it. And after 30 days without sugar or cream in my coffee, I really prefer my coffee black now. Good coffee is even better black, although shitty coffee is very apparent without anything to mask it.
Conclusion: I really have no idea if the cleansing part of Whole 30 works - the conventional wisdom of only putting natural, unprocessed ingredients in my body really appeals to me, and I can get on board for the alleged health benefits behind no dairy, gluten or legumes. I am weary of experts purporting that their own way is better than anyone else's - be it in the realm of nutrition or anything else. For all I know, this could all be snake oil, as there are dozens of diets that all have experts advocating different things with the same level of aggressive certainty. Refined sugar and artificial additives have never been good for anybody, and so these were obvious things to remove from my diet. For 30 days, this was certainly worth trying for me, and I have 10.6 reasons why. I REALLY liked the structure, which is something my eating habits lacked. When day 31 came around, I was actually a bit reluctant to eat anything that wasn't Whole 30-approved. And I had no craving to eat sugar.
My plan is to keep this up, but not in the same strict manner. I like beer, scotch and the occasional Kit Kat too much. I want to stick as closely as I can to this diet by only buying Whole 30 ingredients and by making Paleo lunches and dinners, but I also want to make allowances for nights out with coworkers and friends. I think the key for me is to find the healthy and happy balance between the nutritional benefits from this diet and maintaining a normal social life.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
#8: My Food For Thought is Actually Food
I've been thinking a lot about food lately. And not just about the cravings for the foods that I'm not eating - although I did have a very realistic dream that I ate seven out of eight cupcakes that were given to me by a doctor (I'm not sure what happened to that eighth cupcake, but I'd sure like to know). No, I've been thinking about what and how I've eaten over the years, how I learned to eat, and how (if at all) this experience will change my eating patterns once Whole 30 is complete. As I approach the end, I feel like I'm at a dietary crossroads - although it's been an interesting journey getting here.
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| ployes - aka Acadian pancakes |
Growing up in Northern Maine, there was no such thing as healthy eating. There was just eating - whatever was on your plate. Acadian cuisine of the St. John Valley was in its own way a restrictive diet - thick hearty chicken stews served with ployes (buckwheat pancakes), pâté chinois (Acadian shepherd's pie), tourtière (meat pie) or cretons (a disgusting pork spread) were all cultural mainstays often found at our dinner tables or offered at Acadian heritage events. And since my childhood home was literally surrounded by potato fields, you can probably guess with what most of my meals were also supplemented. Pinterest once again comes to the rescue, with great photos of both Acadian and French Canadian-inspired dishes that I used to eat. Please note that almost nothing pictured through this link includes vegetables. The shepherd's pie may actually be made of real shepherds who froze to death during the unforgiving Northern Maine winters - and then cooked. Due to the thrifty, practical and no-nonsense nature of the Acadians, you should never rule this out. But seriously, no veggies - just meats and a crap-load of processed grains. And yes - I also ate mainstream 'Merican stuff like pizza, hamburgers and tacos as well - I promise you that I did not live in a weird Acadian cuisine biosphere. Although I don't think I'd mind being trapped in a giant bubble from which the smell of chicken stew cannot escape.
Portion control was also not a 'thing' - I don't think I even understood what a portion or a serving size was until my 20s. We kinda ate until we were stuffed, as opposed to full. It certainly didn't help that my mom was a great cook, and it was always a race to second helpings. Overeating was always encouraged, as there was always a concern that I somehow wasn't eating enough. I'm not sure why anyone would ever think that, as evidenced by my childhood chubbiness. I ate really, really well growing up. Junk food was never really seen as a bad thing either; we almost had some sort of unhealthy dessert. Delicious, but unhealthy.
This didn't end when I graduated high school and left the homestead. College was more of a enabler than a remedy to these habits, as unrestricted meal plans, unrestricted cafeteria servings and unrestricted opportunities to stuff my pie hole continued to encourage poor food choices. We also had 'dining dollars', which could be used at the USM Student Center grill. No vegetables were available for purchase, unless they were the onions and green peppers that smothered the loaded steak bomb, or the lettuce and tomatoes on a 'chickenwich' sandwich or on a double cheeseburger. And the late night Denny's runs didn't help either. I will be forever grateful that our cafeteria never invested in a soft serve machine, despite our lobbying efforts - I would have worn a path in the carpet making trips back and forth between my table and the machine.
And then around 2003 I became a vegetarian - or a cheese-, pasta-, and beer-atarian, before I realized the health costs of maintaining such a lopsided diet were either scurvy, death, or worse. Apparently I was concerned more with the welfare of animals that had inspired my diet change than my own health. Sluggishness and weight gain started creeping in, which nudged me to research different vegetarian food sources. Lentils, squashes, and different types of ethnic cuisines were introduced. I began to scrutinize what I was (and wasn't) eating, and started screening ingredient labels. I became better at buying, preparing and cooking with fruits, veggies, grains and dairy. I was also running and exercising more, and this encouraged me to prioritize food as energy sources that would 'burn clean' in my body over junk food and food choices I would regret later.
I reintroduced meat back into my diet a few years ago, but my approach to food has still been to take what I learned during the vegetarian years and use it to continue eating healthy. Sure, I probably drink too much, eat too many office cupcakes, occasionally consume an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream in one sitting, and/or have a tendency to eat a couple parking lot burritos after a Phish concert - but my food 'resting place' is always healthy. Usually. Luckily my shopping and eating ruts end up being on the healthy side, and so I almost never purchase chips, candy, or any other snacks during my weekly grocery shopping. It's only really the bars, restaurants and other social opportunities with tasty beers and food that lure me out of the health cave and back to horrendous eating.
Portion control was also not a 'thing' - I don't think I even understood what a portion or a serving size was until my 20s. We kinda ate until we were stuffed, as opposed to full. It certainly didn't help that my mom was a great cook, and it was always a race to second helpings. Overeating was always encouraged, as there was always a concern that I somehow wasn't eating enough. I'm not sure why anyone would ever think that, as evidenced by my childhood chubbiness. I ate really, really well growing up. Junk food was never really seen as a bad thing either; we almost had some sort of unhealthy dessert. Delicious, but unhealthy.
This didn't end when I graduated high school and left the homestead. College was more of a enabler than a remedy to these habits, as unrestricted meal plans, unrestricted cafeteria servings and unrestricted opportunities to stuff my pie hole continued to encourage poor food choices. We also had 'dining dollars', which could be used at the USM Student Center grill. No vegetables were available for purchase, unless they were the onions and green peppers that smothered the loaded steak bomb, or the lettuce and tomatoes on a 'chickenwich' sandwich or on a double cheeseburger. And the late night Denny's runs didn't help either. I will be forever grateful that our cafeteria never invested in a soft serve machine, despite our lobbying efforts - I would have worn a path in the carpet making trips back and forth between my table and the machine.
And then around 2003 I became a vegetarian - or a cheese-, pasta-, and beer-atarian, before I realized the health costs of maintaining such a lopsided diet were either scurvy, death, or worse. Apparently I was concerned more with the welfare of animals that had inspired my diet change than my own health. Sluggishness and weight gain started creeping in, which nudged me to research different vegetarian food sources. Lentils, squashes, and different types of ethnic cuisines were introduced. I began to scrutinize what I was (and wasn't) eating, and started screening ingredient labels. I became better at buying, preparing and cooking with fruits, veggies, grains and dairy. I was also running and exercising more, and this encouraged me to prioritize food as energy sources that would 'burn clean' in my body over junk food and food choices I would regret later.
I reintroduced meat back into my diet a few years ago, but my approach to food has still been to take what I learned during the vegetarian years and use it to continue eating healthy. Sure, I probably drink too much, eat too many office cupcakes, occasionally consume an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream in one sitting, and/or have a tendency to eat a couple parking lot burritos after a Phish concert - but my food 'resting place' is always healthy. Usually. Luckily my shopping and eating ruts end up being on the healthy side, and so I almost never purchase chips, candy, or any other snacks during my weekly grocery shopping. It's only really the bars, restaurants and other social opportunities with tasty beers and food that lure me out of the health cave and back to horrendous eating.
Fast forward to this month of Whole 30. This has been a pretty drastic month, and not just because of the new ingredients I've introduced to my diet, or the new recipes I've needed to learn to keep my meals fresh. Whole 30 has turned all of my eating habits upside down:
- cooking my breakfasts or lunches at night so that I am prepared for the following work day
- planning almost all of my meals
- making this work when I'm traveling, especially around friends and family
- making sure there is no sugar or preservatives in anything I eat
- trips to 3 stores a week to get all my supplies
- no grains, dairy, legumes
- no grabbing a random dinner or lunch taco if I DON'T feel like cooking
- no trips to the corner pub for a pint, or pouring a scotch
- no office snacks. No snacks whatsoever
All of this really adds up over the course of a month, and the effects are magnified when your social life gets caught up in it. While it's been a tough month, I've actually really appreciated the structure! It's forced me to not put garbage in my body, and the guidelines are so strict that it's impossible to find ways to cheat. It has definitely been a learning experience, regardless of the results (to be discussed in post #8).
What I've really been thinking about today is how society evaluates healthy diets vs more healthy diets vs unhealthy diets. We've had the food pyramid around since 1992 (the USDA version, anyway), which is based off of a Swedish version from 1974. It seems like the original food pyramid was determined based on what was already traditionally eaten by normal healthy people, with a few tweaks from nutrition science - and maybe even a little bit of the conventional wisdom of the 70s (canned meat and gelatin notwithstanding). But who's to say that this is the ideal dietary structure, and what the 'goal' of the food pyramid is? To make us live longer? To be happier? To be fit? If the goal of the food pyramid is to provide us with a standard nutrition structure that allows us to live longer, then why isn't the standard version a vegan/vegetarian pyramid? After all, research indicates that vegans and vegetarians live longer than meat eaters, and with far fewer chronic health problems. If the goal is to live happier, then I want to see a pyramid made of Kit Kats and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, like yesterday - longevity and health concerns be damned.
As much as we know about nutrition, there seems to be a lot we don't know, or at least a lot that we don't want to either know or accept. While the food pyramid could be on the right track, it's tradition, rather than science, that keeps it propped up and in place. Even if the studies on vegetarian diets proved to be correct and accepted, I imagine that the USDA would never promote that type of pyramid because of the political backlash they'd receive from meat producers, food chains, angry meat eaters and traditionalists alike. The resistance of society to change is just too great to overcome. I don't know if Whole-30 or Paleo is the ideal diet either, but after 30 days of it, I can certainly make a strong case (to be discussed in post #9) - probably better than I can for the traditional food pyramid.
I think the most effective approach to diets and/or food lifestyles is moderation (everyone says this) and culinary experimentation. Find what works for you and your lifestyle, and don't be afraid to turn your pyramid into a square, quadrilateral, circle, or whatever geometric shape gets you hot and bothered. My current shape (still being determined) is filled will Acadian foods I ate growing up, the garbage I consumed during college, the things I learned as a vegetarian, the ethnic foods I tried while traveling abroad, and endless amounts of beer and scotch - and now, whatever I choose to take to my new diet, post-Whole 30. I think as I get older, I find a better way to balance it all in a healthy fashion. I'm not sure if it's USDA-approved, but whatever I choose will be Tony Wilbur-Approved - the highest approval you can ever receive, by the way.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
#7: Birthday Weekend - Challenge to the Challenge, Pt. 2
The next part of my four day birthday weekend took me south to Portland, Maine. But only after I had a lovely breakfast of a spinach and sausage omelet. Please note the Confederate Army coffee mug from which I drank my black coffee. I was wondering why my coffee had a little extra bite to it:
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| Breakfast is Whole-30 and General Robert E. Lee-approved |
For those who haven't been, Portland, ME is a special little city, and my former home for about 5 years (and my backyard for another 5 or 6 more, when I lived in Gorham, ME during my undergraduate years). Portland is an unbelievably fun and friendly little city, with a small but thriving arts and music community. And the scenery is impressive, too:
For two years, I lived about 300 feet away from the Shipyard Brewery in Portland, Maine's Old Port. Every morning during the summer, I could smell the yeast as I left for work. Since I needed a new keychain bottle-opener, I made this my first stop in Portland.
Since fate likes to kick you in the junk every once in a while to remind you that you're alive, I managed to time my visit at the start of a group tour and tasting session. This would have been great news during any other span of 30 days. Instead of partaking in the merriment and trying new tasty brews, I sulked in the corner and sifted through a myriad of keychains, t-shirts, and other souvenir offerings. And then I paid and slinked out of the shop to the sound of clinking pint glasses and laughter. Sad day.
After a quick stopover at Coffee By Design for my 3rd coffee of the day, I made my way down to Lyman, Maine for an overnight visit with my friends Sarah Emily and Calen. If you've never heard of Lyman, don't feel bad; Lyman is so small, even some people from Lyman have never heard of it. Lyman is also in the middle of nowhere - which is very welcome after coming from the middle of everywhere in Boston. For five months out of the year, their driveway is both too steep and too snowy for my Toyota Yaris to ascend, which makes their house seem especially remote and cozy.
I first met Sarah Emily at LL Bean about 11 or 12 years ago, when we were both working as seasonal cashiers in the flagship store in Freeport, Maine. After I learned that a rival co-worker hailing from Alabama was stealing extra shift hours away from me, I felt like I needed to get to know her. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, right? Well, she ended up being quite nice, and we became friends. The following January, when we were inevitably laid off at the onset of the slow post-Christmas retail season, we decided to take a month-long backpacking trip through Italy:
That month in Italy was one of the best times of my life, and I've been good friends with Sarah Emily ever since. And now also with Calen.
When it comes to value-based diet restrictions (for lack of a better term) like vegetarianism, veganism, Whole 30, or Paleo - as I briefly touched upon in my last post - most outsiders usually fall into two camps: those who think you are just being a high-maintenance jerk who should shut the hell up and eat what everyone else is eating, and those who are curious and inquisitive about your restriction, and view it as a challenge to understand and to accept. Sarah Emily and Calen certainly fall in the latter camp, and were more than happy to experiment and prepare a delicious and amazing Whole 30-approved dinner...but of course I would expect nothing less from any of my friends than a little bit of good-natured taunting:
Dinner was fancy duck, roasted parsnips and steamed carrots. Dessert was - of course - fruit. The pictures really tell the story of the meal:
Needless to say, it was delicious. Sarah Emily really outdid herself. And I forgot to take a picture of the 'mocktail' I was drinking - club soda with fresh squeezed lime and mandarin juice. Refreshing! Coulda used a little rum, but still.
Breakfast the following morning was just as good. Red pepper and onion omelets, sausage, and adorable fruit cups:
This was almost certainly the best, most elaborate meals I've had while on Whole 30. You should ask Sarah Emily for the recipes.
For brunch (yes, I had breakfast and brunch on the same day!), I met up with my friend Kate. We went to a place neither of us had tried before in downtown Portland, Artemisia Cafe. Once again, I forgot to take pictures - sorry! It was a cozy little breakfast nook on Pleasant Street. The food was great, and they had about 5 different versions of eggs benedict - none of which I could try, sadly. In fact, there weren't a lot of things on the menu I could eat. Everything looked delicious, but with one or two extra ingredients to make each dish non-compliant. Instead of being the 'Chad' who substitutes ingredients in and out, I decided to order my breakfast off the sides menu. Who knew kielbasa would go so well with sunny side up eggs? I wasn't entirely sure that the kielbasa was compliant, but it was close enough. I had been this good for this long. Kate was also kind enough to eat the french bread toast that came with my meal.
So that was my four day weekend of eating! I thought it would be much more difficult to manage than it actually was, and so there was no real challenge to my challenge. All it takes is a little bit of planning and some family and friends who support your lifestyle decisions.
I first met Sarah Emily at LL Bean about 11 or 12 years ago, when we were both working as seasonal cashiers in the flagship store in Freeport, Maine. After I learned that a rival co-worker hailing from Alabama was stealing extra shift hours away from me, I felt like I needed to get to know her. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, right? Well, she ended up being quite nice, and we became friends. The following January, when we were inevitably laid off at the onset of the slow post-Christmas retail season, we decided to take a month-long backpacking trip through Italy:
In Italy, we also proceeded to take one of the greatest satirical tourist photos ever:
And the series kept going throughout the day in Pisa:
That month in Italy was one of the best times of my life, and I've been good friends with Sarah Emily ever since. And now also with Calen.
When it comes to value-based diet restrictions (for lack of a better term) like vegetarianism, veganism, Whole 30, or Paleo - as I briefly touched upon in my last post - most outsiders usually fall into two camps: those who think you are just being a high-maintenance jerk who should shut the hell up and eat what everyone else is eating, and those who are curious and inquisitive about your restriction, and view it as a challenge to understand and to accept. Sarah Emily and Calen certainly fall in the latter camp, and were more than happy to experiment and prepare a delicious and amazing Whole 30-approved dinner...but of course I would expect nothing less from any of my friends than a little bit of good-natured taunting:
 |
| Scotchy scotch with straws |
Dinner was fancy duck, roasted parsnips and steamed carrots. Dessert was - of course - fruit. The pictures really tell the story of the meal:
Needless to say, it was delicious. Sarah Emily really outdid herself. And I forgot to take a picture of the 'mocktail' I was drinking - club soda with fresh squeezed lime and mandarin juice. Refreshing! Coulda used a little rum, but still.
Breakfast the following morning was just as good. Red pepper and onion omelets, sausage, and adorable fruit cups:
This was almost certainly the best, most elaborate meals I've had while on Whole 30. You should ask Sarah Emily for the recipes.
For brunch (yes, I had breakfast and brunch on the same day!), I met up with my friend Kate. We went to a place neither of us had tried before in downtown Portland, Artemisia Cafe. Once again, I forgot to take pictures - sorry! It was a cozy little breakfast nook on Pleasant Street. The food was great, and they had about 5 different versions of eggs benedict - none of which I could try, sadly. In fact, there weren't a lot of things on the menu I could eat. Everything looked delicious, but with one or two extra ingredients to make each dish non-compliant. Instead of being the 'Chad' who substitutes ingredients in and out, I decided to order my breakfast off the sides menu. Who knew kielbasa would go so well with sunny side up eggs? I wasn't entirely sure that the kielbasa was compliant, but it was close enough. I had been this good for this long. Kate was also kind enough to eat the french bread toast that came with my meal.
So that was my four day weekend of eating! I thought it would be much more difficult to manage than it actually was, and so there was no real challenge to my challenge. All it takes is a little bit of planning and some family and friends who support your lifestyle decisions.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
#6: Birthday Weekend - Challenge to the Challenge, Pt. 1
Last week was my birthday. March 27th, like every year. I share it with Quentin Tarantino and Mariah Carey, if you need a mnemonic device. Well, I don't actually share it with them. Although that would be one hell of a party, wouldn't it? Tarantino and I would probably spend our time getting under Mariah Carey's skin at Chuck E. Cheese by attempting to name movies that are somehow worse than Glitter. Although we'd do it in a more mocking fashion, by naming movies like Schindler's List and The Shawshank Redemption. This would continue until Mariah Carey broke out in tears and stormed off to the bouncy castle. Serves her right. Tarantino and I would then go scare the kids out of the ball pit and hang out there until it was time to eat pizza and ice cream sundaes.
Anyway, for my actual birthday, I decided to head up to Bangor, Maine to visit my dad. And of equal importance, the two new Maine coon cats he had just gotten from a breeder who was parting with them at a considerable discount (they're adorable):
I know there's certainly a risk of being labeled a 'cat person' by posting these photos, but I thought it was helpful in contributing to the exposition. Funny enough, their names are Mindy and Candy. Which leads me to a very important and amusing query: Is the cattery intentionally giving their cats stripper names? I hope so.
Adorable cats aside, I knew maintaining Whole 30 in central Maine would be difficult. Bangor, Maine, for all it's positive qualities, isn't the pluralistic hub of culinary diversity one might think; 'casual dining' chain restaurants dominate the landscape and provide few alternative options. You can't throw a rock in Bangor without hitting an Applebee's...in fact, that rock may actually ricochet off Applebee's and hit the adjoining Olive Garden. Unfortunately going out to eat is kinda what people do on their birthdays, and I know from my days as a vegetarian that these types of chain restaurants are not supportive to healthy living - and certainly do not cater in any way to restrictive diets. Dietary restrictions here, or in any other rural area, are not usually a choice, but rather a doctor's mandate in order to keep a patient from dying of morbid obesity, or some equally heinous food-related medial condition.
I drove up with a plan. I figured my dad and I would dine out on my birthday, and then probably again on the following night. Two nights out at a restaurant were fine. Breakfasts and lunches were typically dine out options as well, but I wanted to head this idea off at the pass and prepare those meals myself. More dining out translates to a greater chance of unapproved ingredients added to my meals. I made sure to load my car up with Larabars, sweet potatoes, onions, and Whole-30 approved sausages. I also dragged my dad to the Super Walmart to knock a couple more things off the grocery list. To his credit, my dad has always (tried to) put his opinions aside and supported most of the endeavors my brother and I have undertaken in our lives - he's awesome like that (Disclaimer: exceptions to this include the time I somehow got the lid off a paint can and coated the side of our house and our RV in a dark red color, and the time I tried to strap a wheelbarrow to our 16 year old dog, Boo, so that she could give me rides around the yard. In these instances, he was not terribly supportive. In my defense, I was 6). My dad was no less supportive of Whole 30, even if he didn't quite understand the premise behind it, and why I can't have donuts. I felt bad dragging him up and down the aisles of Walmart reading labels and explaining to him all the things I could and couldn't have - like I was playing a particularly nasty game of Calvinball with him.
My plan for Dinner #1 (birthday meal) was a steakhouse. The beauty of Whole 30 is that I can essentially eat as much meat as I want for 30 days. I acknowledge that I would probably die at 43 if I maintained this diet of red meat (plus eggs, almond butter, etc), but I'm certainly taking advantage of it while I can. My thought in going to a steakhouse was that even if there weren't a lot of options and sides to choose from, at least I knew I could eat the meat, and it would fill me up. We decided upon Texas Roadhouse, one of the multiple steak chain restaurants from which we could choose. Before being seated, we were asked to select a cut of meat from the 'steak window' to be cooked - a glass display not unlike what you'd expect to find housing baked goods or tubs of ice cream. At our table, we were encouraged to shuck and eat as many peanuts as we wanted while waiting for our drinks/appetizers/dinner to appear - and to just throw the shells on the floor. Pure class, but unfortunately non-Whole-30 approved. Then our free bread arrived, with cinnamon butter. Again, couldn't have any. Just an unsweetened ice tea, thank you. We started with an appetizer of grilled shrimp, and I ordered a steak, sweet potato, and steamed string beans. I'm pretty sure everything had been cooked with butter (I was prepared to make that concession when dining out), and the string beans incomprehensibly had chunks of bacon floating around. I realize that this is probably for added meaty salty flavor. I also realize that anyone who orders a steak should have no problem also eating bacon, in the eyes of the food server. But whatever happened to putting these types of details on the menu? Just a thought, Texas Roadhouse. Sometimes vegetables are good as they are, and don't require bacon. One of my pet peeves is that Wendy's adds bacon to their salads, effectively eliminating all meal options for vegetarians from their menu. Is this really necessary? Either way, at least my dad was able to enjoy a beer on my birthday.
Overall, a good meal with good company. And an added bonus is that the servers were forced to line dance to country music every 30 minutes in the middle of the restaurant. How nice. Just kidding, it was terrible and embarrassing to watch. And in true chain restaurant fashion, I learned from our server that they find a way to embarrass you if they happen to find out that it's your birthday (she didn't). In this case, you ride a rolling saddle-chair:
Breakfast the following morning went off without a hitch, although I believe my dad was curious why he was eating sweet potato before noon on a weekend. I made a simple hash with sweet potato, onion and egg. With a side of sausage. This dish is turning into a Whole 30 weekend staple.
Dinner #2 was at a local seafood chain in Brewer, Maine called The Weathervane. One of the few chains I like, outside of Chipotle, Costa, and Panera. I thought I would have a delicious meal of local sourced seafood. Unfortunately fresh local seafood is apparently only good if it's mixed with cream, soaked in butter, rolled in Ritz cracker crumbs and/or cornmeal, and stuffed with any manner of non-Whole 30 compliant ingredients. There was literally one entree on the menu I could eat, and it took me about 20 minutes of frantic searching to find it:
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| Mmm...salmon and broccoli. I'm already hungry...again. |
The salmon was well-prepared and the broccoli perfectly steamed, but I really wasn't feeling this meal. I also had to pass up the coleslaw that came with this entree. Meanwhile, my dad was enjoying his haddock au gratin, a Miller Lite, and all the free bread he could stuff in his face. At least I could have (another) unsweetened ice tea. After dinner, my dad and I took another run by Super Walmart to stock up on fruit for dessert. Mmmm mangoes and grapes. Kill me.
Since this is already kinda long, I'll cover the second part of my 4-day weekend in the next post. But what we learned from this post:
1. Mariah Carey is no fun to have at birthday parties unless she can be the butt of your jokes.
2. More cats should have stripper names.
3. Bread, peanuts, and lots of other 'value-added' items are included in most restaurant visits for no reason. No wonder we're such a fat society.
4. Menus need to have more basic food dishes that aren't tricked-out by bacon or other delicious meats.
5. Chain restaurants need to eliminate all gimmicks and just serve food. No server should need to participate in that stupid birthday clap song and annoy everyone in the restaurant, just as no one should need to sit in a rolling chair-saddle. Let's just have a normal dining experience, folks.
To be continued...
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